Call Me Babs Again and That Controllers

For those in or getting out of a romantic relationship with a self-absorbed private, the silent handling tin feel like a punishment worse than death.

The silent treatment is a class of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) identify the abuser in a position of command; (two) silence the target's attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight. Ofttimes, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control.

The target, who may possess loftier emotional intelligence, empathy, conflict-resolution skills, and the ability to compromise, may work diligently to respond to the deafening silence. He or she may oft accomplish out to the narcissistic person via email, phone, or text to resolve profoundly inflated misunderstandings, and is typically met with continued disdain, antipathy, and silence. Essentially, the egotistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target and then insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the egotistic person.

Observe a Therapist

The emotional maturity of a typical egotistic person is akin to a 5-twelvemonth-quondam child who pouts and refuses to play with a friend in the sandbox because the friend wants to share the pail and shovel. The 5-year-old refuses to talk with the friend and angrily storms off to play on the jungle gym with someone else. The bewildered kid with the pail and shovel may feel dislocated, rejected, and may not understand why they can't share. He or she just wanted to build a sand castle together.

Because no further communication tin ensue unless and until the narcissistic person decides to give the target another chance, a false sense of command is nurtured. Often, the egotistic person will need that the target apologize for whatever inflated transgression the target may have committed (the target may accept gear up a limit or asserted a boundary against emotional corruption, for example). Sometimes, a person with narcissistic qualities volition determine to abandon and discard the relationship when his or her partner presents an ultimatum or attempts resolution requiring compromise. The person with narcissism may prefer to end the relationship and start over rather than be in a position of potential abandonment. The 5-year-old storms off and plays with a new, innocent target on the swing set. It is as well much work to share the pail and shovel.

Then how does 1 deal with the silent handling from a person with narcissism? For those leaving a toxic relationship with such an individual, many therapists advise that the survivor sympathise that the person with narcissism has not adult the ability to express a high level of empathy, reciprocity, and compromise. The silent treatment is a class of emotional abuse that no one deserves nor should tolerate. If an private experiences this absence of communication, it is a sure sign that he or she needs to motility on and heal.

The healing process can experience like mourning the loss of a human relationship that did not really exist and was one-way in favor of the ego-massaging person with narcissism. The infinitesimal the partner disagrees with the narcissistic person or asserts his or her healthy boundaries, the narcissistic person deploys an armory of abuse tactics. The silent treatment is a favorite weapon.

Do not accept emotional abuse. Know that you are worthy of a healthy relationship with someone who can communicate in a mature, emotionally salubrious mode. Play with someone who has the ability to share the shovel and pail. Y'all deserve no less.

© Copyright 2014 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Andrea Schneider, LCSW, Learning Difficulties Topic Expert Contributor

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can exist directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145

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